Technology


 

I’ve been struggling with technology lately, see I taught my self how to code by the time I was like fourteen, by the time I was sixteen I could hack just about anything I ever set my mind to it, I could build Kernels from scratch and write complicated ROM’s or do just about anything I ever want it to do and yet today I struggle, I struggle trying to delete a simple calendar reminder I get every year, a reminder that she is no longer with us, that she’s never coming back, that I won’t ever see her again, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful of every second I ever spent with her, and I do understand that “death ends a life, not a relationship” but I still miss her, a lot, sometimes maybe even more than I should, I simply can’t just get myself to delete it, why? It was never easy for me around the holidays, my family basically crumbled apart on Christmas, I still remember my dad asking me to chose between mom and him on Christmas’s Morning, I bounced around too many holidays between private schools and relatives always feeling out of place, always feeling uninvited, always trying to convince myself that it was “just another day” but losing her was far worst than any of that, perhaps that’s why I haven’t had the courage to delete it, perhaps I still need her sometimes, perhaps I’m still learning from her after all this time.

FullSizeRender.jpg